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Nobody warns you properly about this part. You spent months picturing the feeding itself as the easy bit, the labour was supposed to be the hard part, and then your baby latches on and it feels like glass. You grit your teeth through a feed, check the clock, dread the next one starting in two hours. And somewhere in the back of your mind is a nagging thought: isn’t this supposed to not hurt?
It’s not supposed to hurt. That’s the part worth saying clearly, right at the start, because so many mothers quietly assume pain is just the price of entry. It isn’t. Persistent pain during breastfeeding is almost always a sign of something fixable, most commonly, a latch that isn’t quite right, and it’s one of the single biggest reasons mothers stop breastfeeding earlier than they wanted to. Understanding why latch problems happen is the first step to actually fixing them, rather than white-knuckling through feeds and hoping it improves on its own.
A latch that’s working well should feel like a strong tug or pulling sensation, not pain. Some tenderness in the very first days as your nipples adjust is common and usually settles within the first week or so. What isn’t normal is pain that continues throughout the feed, pain that gets worse rather than better, or pain severe enough that you find yourself tensing up before your baby even latches.
Signs of a good latch include:
If what you’re experiencing doesn’t match this picture, that’s useful information, not a personal failure.
This is genuinely one of the most under-discussed issues in early motherhood, given how common it is. Research consistently finds that latch-related nipple pain affects roughly half of breastfeeding mothers, and studies looking specifically at why mothers stop breastfeeding earlier than they’d planned find that painful nipples and latch difficulty are among the top reasons cited, right alongside worries about milk supply. In broader studies of breastfeeding difficulties in the weeks after birth, the figures are even higher, some cohorts have found over 70% of mothers report some kind of breastfeeding difficulty in the early weeks, most commonly involving pain, cracked nipples, or a sense that something about the latch just isn’t working.
The pattern in the research is consistent: the earliest weeks are the highest-risk window. The steepest drop-off in breastfeeding rates happens in the first three weeks, precisely when latch problems are most common and least likely to have been properly assessed yet. That’s not a coincidence, it’s a support gap.
Latch problems are rarely about anything you did wrong. They usually come down to one or more of the following:
Positioning. How you and your baby are physically angled to each other matters enormously. If your baby has to turn or crane their neck to reach the breast, or if they’re not held close enough, a deep latch becomes physically difficult no matter how hard either of you tries.
A shallow latch. If your baby latches onto just the nipple rather than taking in a good mouthful of the surrounding breast tissue, the nipple takes the full force of the sucking motion, which is where the sharp, pinching pain usually comes from.
Tongue-tie (ankyloglossia). This is one of the more talked-about causes, and for good reason: research suggests tongue-tie affects somewhere between roughly 4% and 11% of newborns, and babies with tongue-tie are considerably more likely to experience real breastfeeding difficulty than babies without it, some studies put the rate at around a quarter of tongue-tied babies having genuine feeding challenges, compared to a small fraction of babies without it. That said, it’s worth knowing that most babies with a tongue-tie feed just fine, and several major paediatric bodies have raised concern about tongue-tie surgery being overused in recent years, which is exactly why a proper hands-on assessment matters more than jumping straight to a diagnosis based on how the tongue looks alone.
Engorgement. In the first days after your milk comes in, breasts can become so full and firm that it’s physically difficult for your baby to latch deeply, however willing they are.
Flat or inverted nipples. These don’t prevent breastfeeding, but they can make achieving a deep latch trickier and often benefit from some extra hands-on technique in the early days.
Prematurity or low muscle tone. Babies born early, or with low muscle tone for other reasons, often have less coordinated sucking reflexes at first, which can look like a latch problem even when positioning is otherwise fine.
It’s tempting to assume latch pain is just something to push through, but the research is fairly clear that it’s worth addressing early rather than waiting it out. Ongoing nipple pain and trauma is one of the strongest predictors of mothers stopping breastfeeding earlier than they intended, and beyond the practical feeding issue, there’s a knock-on effect on wellbeing too. Mothers dealing with unresolved breastfeeding pain report lower confidence in their ability to breastfeed and higher rates of stress and low mood in those early weeks, which matters enormously during a period that’s already emotionally demanding.
Left unaddressed, a poor latch can also lead to:
None of this is inevitable. It’s simply what happens when a fixable problem doesn’t get looked at early.
This is where hands-on, in-person support makes a real, measurable difference, not generic advice from a pamphlet, but someone physically watching a feed and adjusting it in real time.
A proper feeding assessment. A skilled midwife or lactation consultant will watch an actual feed, not just ask about it, checking positioning, latch depth, and how your baby is sucking and swallowing. Structured assessment tools exist specifically for this, scoring things like latch, audible swallowing, nipple type, comfort, and how much help is needed, which turns “something feels off” into a clear, correctable picture.
Hands-on repositioning. Often, a genuinely small adjustment, bringing your baby closer, tilting the angle slightly, waiting for a truly wide-open mouth before latching, resolves pain that’s been going on for days or weeks. This is far easier to fix in person than to describe over the phone.
Ruling in or out physical causes. If tongue-tie or another physical factor seems to be at play, a proper assessment, not a quick glance, determines whether it’s actually contributing to the problem, and whether conservative measures like improved positioning might resolve it before anything more is needed.
Practical, evidence-based comfort measures. Simple, proven interventions, like using a purified lanolin balm on damaged nipples have been shown in research to meaningfully extend how long mothers continue breastfeeding, simply by making the healing process faster and less painful.
Ongoing support, not a single fix-it visit. Because latch issues can shift as your baby grows, gets stronger, or as your supply regulates, a single perfect session doesn’t always mean it’s solved for good. Continuity, the same person checking in over the following days and weeks, catches new issues early rather than letting them build up again.
Reassurance that isn’t dismissive. A good midwife takes your pain seriously the first time you mention it, rather than treating it as a normal rite of passage to be endured. That distinction alone changes how quickly problems get resolved.
If breastfeeding is hurting, that’s not something you need to prove is “bad enough” before asking for help. Early support tends to work faster and prevent complications like cracked nipples or mastitis from developing in the first place, there’s no advantage to waiting until it feels unbearable.
If you’re in Abu Dhabi and breastfeeding isn’t going the way you hoped, our breastfeeding support is built around exactly this: a real, hands-on latch assessment, a plan that fits your actual situation, and follow-up that doesn’t leave you figuring the rest out alone.
Is it normal for breastfeeding to hurt?
Some tenderness in the very first days is common and usually settles within a week. Ongoing or worsening pain throughout a feed is not normal and is almost always a sign of a fixable issue, most often related to latch or positioning.
What does a bad latch look like?
Signs of a shallow or poor latch include your baby’s lips tucked in rather than flanged out, a nipple that looks flattened or creased after feeding, clicking sounds during feeds, and pain that continues rather than easing after the first minute.
Does tongue-tie always need surgery?
No. While tongue-tie can contribute to breastfeeding difficulty in some babies, many babies with tongue-tie feed without issue, and conservative measures like improved positioning and latch technique often resolve difficulties without surgical intervention. A proper assessment should always come before deciding on surgery.
How long does it take to fix a latch problem?
Many latch issues improve significantly within a few days of proper positioning adjustments and hands-on support. More complex cases, involving tongue-tie or significant nipple trauma, may take longer but still typically improve with consistent, early support.
When should I get help for breastfeeding pain?
As soon as it starts, rather than waiting to see if it resolves on its own. Early support prevents complications like nipple trauma and mastitis and gives you the best chance of a comfortable, sustainable feeding routine.
If breastfeeding hasn’t felt the way it “should,” our midwife services in Abu Dhabi are here to actually watch a feed, find what’s going on, and help you fix it, not just tell you it gets easier with time.
Ready for a real latch assessment? Book a consultation and let’s get feeding feeling comfortable again.
Nativacare is your trusted support system led by experienced community midwives for your extraordinary motherhood journey. We at NativaCare believe that the positive motherhood outcome is not a probability but a possibility. Unlock your potential and change your attitude to change your altitude.
YES YOU CAN DO IT.
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